This article is all about why each and every Cubs player is better than their positional counterpart on the White Sox. Derrek Lee has two gold gloves, a silver slugger, a batting title, and a World Championship ring. Paul Konerko has one of those things and a .244 average to boot. Mark Derosa had five home runs in the first week and a half of the season, Tadahito Iguchi weighs 100 and a half pounds.

Ryan Theriot is a rookie sensation whos proven to be a scrappy hitter and consistently gets on base. Juan Uribe is a murderer who consistently murders people. Aramis Ramirez is good for .300 and 30-40 home runs every year, Joe Crede is good for a Gold Glove if Eric Chavez ever gets murdered by Juan Uribe. Michael Barrett punched A.J. Pierzynski in the face and Mark Buehrle said he did baseball a favor in doing so. Alfonso Soriano is baseballs first ever 40-40-40 man, Rob Mackowiak is baseballs first ever player from Oak Lawn.

Felix Pie and Angel Pagan are both young players with extremely bright futures, while the rest of the White Sox outfield will be lucky to avoid being shipped back to whatever they came from or shot by Uribe. Also, the Cubs colors are way better than the Sox. I mean, white and black? That's horse trash. The Cubs are definitely better than the Sox - any sheep could tell that unless he was color blind, which I highly doubt. Many sheeps are not color blind.